Preface#
About my year 2020, it may have been a year of significant quality leap for me, but there were also more dissatisfactions. For the world, it should have been a disastrous year, but it also showed more humanity.
And 30 days of 2020 have passed, I didn't know what to write until I saw... https://desirez.tk/2021.html (expired)
My Journey#
I love snow-capped mountains, I love the sea, I love the places where sea blue and snow white intersect.
I love the scorching sun, I love stories, I love the places where light yellow and orange red blend.
These colors made my 2020 and the world's 2020 seem a bit different.
- January 11, 2020: Self-built Yiyan API technology has since progressed - White
- February 13, 2020: Officially released Source·Yan Web Laboratory - Colorful
- February 15, 2020: Established "Youth Dream" organization - Dream color
- February 21, 2020: Completed the construction of the "Youth Dream" organization official website - Indigo
- February 24-26, 2020: Secured many sponsors for the "Youth Dream" organization - Dream color
- March 12, 2020: "Youth Dream" article collaboration, I published my first blog post themed on Chinese language - Orange
- April 6, 2020: Officially released CometIcon icon pack - Indigo
- April 9, 2020: Redrew CometIcon icon pack - Indigo
- April 20, 2020: Released T-AdminTheme version 1.0 - Indigo
- May 9, 2020: All blog images lost, SEO ranking dropped to the lowest - Black
- May 17, 2020: Started resetting the blog - Pale white
- May 22, 2020: T-AdminTheme renamed to AdminMD - Indigo
- May 23, 2020: Blog reset completed, laboratory upgraded - Orange red
- June 17, 2020: "Youth Dream" organization began the first construction of the forum, domain name was scammed - Red and black intertwined
- July 13, 2020: Source·Yan Laboratory rewritten, renamed Origin Laboratory - Indigo
- July 15, 2020: Last version of CometIcon icon pack released, due to personal issues, the icon pack could not be packaged - Gray
- July 18, 2020: Last update of AdminMD in 2020 - Indigo
- September 1, 2020: Returned to school, the homeroom teacher changed back to our old friend - Teacher Xiao of Chinese language, I would soon face my first crossroads in life - Dream color
For a long time after that, I didn't do much, often just studying. - October 23, 2020: "Youth Dream" forum construction began, new domain name registered - Dream color
- October 30, 2020: "Youth Dream" forum construction completed, my first work that satisfied me - Chinese red!
- December 27, 2020: Released OriginKWGT component - Colorful
- December 31, 2020: On the last day of this year, updated the last version of my last work of the year, OriginKWGT version 1.3, downloads exceeded 2000 - Dream color
Reflections#
From these events, it is not difficult to see that I experienced some setbacks, but also had some highlights.
My technology upgraded comprehensively, it was from the moment I built the Yiyan API that the seed was planted, sprouting in the laboratory and bearing fruit in the Youth Dream.
Many things happened in the first half of the year, probably due to the impact of the pandemic, I had to stay at home, not knowing what to do, and most of the time I wouldn't pay attention during online classes, so I would mess around with some things, and there were many small things I didn't write down, like battling wits with QQ in Deepin.
The only motivation driving me to study so hard was the organization called Youth Dream.
The word dream carries too much, and I am constantly exploring. Just like the song "Chasing Dreams with a Childlike Heart" writes:
Maybe I have no talent
But I have the innocence of dreams
I will prove it with my life
Maybe my hands are clumsy
But I am willing to keep exploring
To give all my youth without regrets
Sometimes dreams really aren't enough to drive me forward, so I long for the arrival of love, which is my biggest pain in 2020. I may have loved deeply and for a long time, but ending that love only takes a few seconds, not even a "no"...
Besides, even my first love didn't have a good ending. He initially told me that someone confessed to him and hoped I would let him go to try, I was naive and kind, so I let him go. It wasn't until a whole year later that I realized he was actually confessing to someone else, the belated green made me both laugh and cry.
These feelings caused my grades to decline, and ultimately I decided to shut myself off. My way of expressing pain may be different from many people.
Most of the time afterward can be described as forgetting both honor and disgrace. Marx's thoughts indeed had a high-level purifying effect on me, but in daily life, such thoughts are often hard to recall, only when I calm down can I reflect alone.
After being hurt by many things, I could no longer think or work on technology, drowning my sorrows in alcohol every day. After the sorrow, I would write many life articles, starting from seeds, marveling at the tenacity of life. Later, I began to depict the stories of stray cats, in my articles I could find the brilliance of humanity I sought, a brilliance that is hard to find in reality.
After writing many poems about life, I realized how precious life is, and I completely abandoned the thought of dying when I couldn't understand something.
I don't even know when it started, but I became unable to feel sadness or sorrow, only able to smile, facing each day with a smile. However, sometimes I even feel that such a smile is distorted, just like the character Doma in "Demon Slayer," devoid of any emotion, the smile on my face is merely a disguise. But that's the reality; I try to stop smiling, but I simply can't.
Setting Goals for 2021#
[ ] Maintain this relationship for a whole year (failed)
[x] Study twice as hard
[x] Respect every life
[ ] No more procrastinating (failed)
[ ] And more..............
I hope that when I meet again in 2022, I can complete all of these without exception!
This article is synchronized and updated to xLog by Mix Space. The original link is https://fmcf.cc/posts/life/My2020